My First Two Weeks as a Dad

Sorry for the length...I've been stuck in a house with strange thoughts running through my head for two weeks.

I was having a conversation with one of my relatives the other day about what I had learned since Blake's birth. As many of you can imagine, it has been a lot.

Let me start with my background with babies. I didn't have much of one. As in, I had never changed a diaper in my life. Not even a simple wet one. Any of the few times I held a baby, it would generally scream as if I was trying to pull its fingernails out. I would then promptly hand the bundle of joy off to one of my female relatives who could properly handle the situation. It isn't as if I didn't want to play with the kids, it was just scary having everyone in Kim's very large family staring at me as if I busted something (of course, they weren't really doing that, it just seemed that way).

I tried to prepare myself for what life would be like with a little person around the house. A little person who would be depending on me for everything short of breathing. Not a fun feeling for a guy who is pretty lazy by most standards. I just tried to heed the words of my very wise brothers-in-law who told me that EVERYTHING in my life would change. Yeah, right. Thanks for trying to scare me with your exaggerations, guys.

So, March 14, 2008 came along. I was then plunged into this world many of you know very well as parenthood. As it turns out, Joe and Chris were right. EVERYTHING did change. The first few days were a strange haze. Time didn't really exist. It felt as if we were sitting on LOST island (in the hospital) while the world went on without us. Once we went home, it didn't feel like things would ever get back to anything resembling normal life.

Since I have taken the 1-3 a.m. shift as my personal duty (who knew our kid would be noctournal?), it has given me a chance to learn new things. For instance, I have an expanded vocabulary now. I use new words like passie, diapie, wipie, and poopy. (Apparently, you have to add a "y" sound onto every word when taking care of a baby.) I have now changed over 100 diapers and I have reduced my wet diaper change PR (personal record) to under one minute. In addition, I have become very comfortable with spit-up and poop on my hands. Sleep is also completely overrated. You can really live on two hours of sleep if need be.

Here's the thing- two weeks later, I can't imagine life without Blake. Sure it is tough, but there is nothing in the world like the feeling of holding my son with him looking back at me with those big blue eyes. He is truely a gift from God, and there is no way I would ever want to go back.