Who am I?

So who am I? It is such a loaded question. Do I answer as who am I now, who I was as a child, in high school, in college, as a young married person? The problem in answering this question is that there are so many aspects to each of us, which ones do we choose to describe ourselves. Also many times our answers revolve around the roles we currently hold in life. If I was asked this question today about my roles I would answer that I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend but do those roles really define who I am or just what I do. As a stay at home mom, sometimes I do feel defined as only being a mom because of the day in and day out tasks that consume me. It feels like that is all I do, therefore that is all I am. Then I remind myself of all the things that make me who I am. God has given each of us gifts, talents and unique personalities. I think sometimes we are afraid to admit who we are because we wish we had a different personality or a different talent.
     I have been thinking about this topic recently because I can get frustrated with myself when I am not who I think I should be. For example, I am a rule follower. I have come to accept that God made me this way. I thrive on structure and time management. It is at my core so please don't ask me to bend a rule because I won't. Even the thought of breaking rules brings up anxiety. Also don't ask me to plan something and then expect lots of flexibility. It is just not in my nature. Another aspect of me that is frustrating and I am trying to accept is that I am an introvert. Basically this means that I gain energy through self-reflection and being alone. In a large group, I am more reserved as I observe and talk to a few people. I am not energized by being around other people and generally need time alone to process things. I will never be the life of the party :-) My struggle is that sometimes I want to be the life of the party. I want to walk into a room full of people, tell jokes, go with the flow and be spontaneous. In my head, I think my life would be easier if I could be this way but then am I questioning who God has made me to be? I believe that God uniquely created me and has a specific purpose for my life here on earth. I strive daily to be more like Christ and follow His plan for my life. So when I desire to be different, am I questioning who He wants me to be? Where is the balance of accepting who you are and trying to improve on certain areas?
     Really, I don't have the answers to these questions and I don't know if there is one right answer but it has me thinking. Usually it's topics like these where I choose to rely on the truth of what I do know. I know that I am so special to God and whether I am an introvert or extrovert, God has a plan for me and I will walk each day in faith as I follow Him. (Ps. 139:13-16). So even though I don't know the answers, today I am choosing to be thankful for who God created me to be. I don't know when He will use my introversion to help someone or to protect me from something but I believe God has a plan and I can't wait to see how it all unfolds :-)